Mental Breakdown of a Girl Part 17

I'm really making it an effort to blog, blog, blog every day.
Though I have nothing to write about and time, that thing, is laughing at me while it runs out, I'm really trying to beat it.
Well, since I'm thinking about it...
What does a light Christmas mean to you?
(or any other holiday)
It's a new term to me this year that has been eating away at me since I first heard it slip from my momma's mouth last month.
This is also my first Christmas without my grandpa.
He passed away in October and that's part of the reason I have been completely numbing myself and no longer taking account of my surroundings.
I guess I had more time than I thought I did, and look where my thoughts have taken me...
Note to self : learn to shut my trap every once in a while.

Mental Breakdown of a Girl Part 16.5 ( My first post as a 16 year old girl )

My fingers have been itching to say a few words.
They miss the keyboard just as much as I do, yet I do anything that I can to prevent them from speaking.
I've been away for a while, mentally, of course, but I believe that I'm back.
I have a lot to share, but I'm short on time.
That thing, time, It's been getting away from me lately.
I barely have time to breathe, but look forward.
I'll be blogging again soon, and promise to let me fingers do the talking.

Mental Breakdown of a girl Part...It's been so long I can't even remember

There's Something About Mary.
There is just something about this movie that makes me feel sick to my stomach...
And yet, here I am, in my living room, bag of chips in hand, watching the very movie that sucks the health out of me.
Have you ever shared something with someone who isn't a part of your life anymore?...
so you affiliate yourself with that one thing in order to feel like that person is still with you...
but instead, you feel like what's left of your heart is being ripped out of your chest as you watch what could have been slam the door in your face?
Some would call it self-mutilation.
Now that i'm thinking about it intensely...I can't imagine what else you would call that.
So, i guess my point of this is that I wonder often if that's normal, if people put themselves in situations of pure torture and if there is some sort of logic reasoning behind it.
Is there an answer to everything or is this unexplainable?
Is this type of mindset common or am I really a mental breakdown of a girl?

Mental Breakdown of a Girl Part 15 [Falling]

You might not wanna play that song
'cause if you do i might just lose it all
You're half way through; I'm about to crack
these tears just won't stop breaking down the wall

They don't understand that i can't have you see me crying
They don't understand that i can't even say goodbye yet

I'm holding on so tightly; i just keep falling
I'm having these dreams nightly; i just keep falling

Wake me up so I'll stop falling

Mental Breakdown of a Girl Part 15 [Dec. 27, 2009]

There's a possibility.
There's a possibility.
There is always a line of endless possibility.
In any situation you have to take a moment to stop and think about all the possibilities.
All the different ways things could happen as a result of one decision.
Things can change in an instant.
It's quite crazy when you think about it.
My choice to skip breakfast this morning could have a massive effect on how my math grade looks at the end of my junior year.
Although unlikely, you never REALLY know.
That's what sucks about society.
People are so naturally knowledge thirsty, it pisses the hell out of them when they are lacking the information of something as simple as that.
What pisses me off the most is that people always think there has to be some scientific reasoning to EVERYTHING.
Whatever helps them on judgment day, i guess.

Mental Breakdown of a Girl part 14

My family is here.
in this very room.
smiling at me as i pretend to be texting or doing something less productive than what i'm actually doing.
that would just happen to be blogging via iPod touch.
My Aunt Elly is here without a boyfriend this time around.
My favorite cousin is here along with her, not being forced to endure another one of his mother's boyfriends.
His name is Ryan.
He is 17 and is just as into music and mischief as i am.
It's pretty cool to have somebody you can relate to and talk to twice a year.
That helps alot.
I'm being unbelievably sarcastic, of course, because a prospering hormonal teenage girl like myself needs more than two times a year to dump her feelings on her older cousin.
I better get started on that.

Mental Breakdown of a Girl Part 13

I think that my father has some problems.
I'm not really sure what it is, but i just know there has to be something up mentally.
My momma is signing all of us up for family counseling.
that should be a blast.

George Lopez has been on my mind alot lately.
I haven't seen him in a long time and i think it's time i turn to him for more wisdom and guidance.
George always comes through for me.